Dream of a Memory
by pago
Summary: AU, oneshot, takes place after Espada's Masquerade. Halibel's dreams are plagued by unwelcome memories of her time in Los Noches and the day of Tyn's exile; forced to choose between a trusted friend and Lord Aizen, the decision and it's aftermath will haunt her for years to come.


_**Author's Note I:** _Just something I accidentally came up with the other day. Oneshot, takes place after (and before)_ Espada's Masquerade._

* * *

**Dream of a Memory**

To say it had been a bad day would have been an understatement of colossal proportions; the term 'bad day' didn't even _begin_ to describe what had happened.

It was a _disaster_.

The courtyard beneath Lord Aizen's personal balcony, the one used to address the masses, was still littered with bodies and body parts, red blood painting the white desert sands and slowly drying underneath the artificially blue sky of the great dome of Los Noches and the false sun at it's apex. Dozens of _numeros_, the lesser arrancar serving in Aizen's army, had been massacred, purged from the ranks for thoughts and opinions that had been deemed traitorous and dangerous to the cause.

And it had allegedly began with an assassination attempt from within the Espada themselves, Lord Aizen's most loyal warriors, his chosen elite.

Tia Halibel could still vividly recall the sight of Linndal Cuchullan, the late _septima_ Espada, impaled on his own spear-like zanpaktou as Lord Aizen so casually described the failed assassination attempt, crimson blood slowly dripping it's way down the long, ivory-white handle to pool in the sand as the former shinigami spoke. At first it had been hard to comprehend; the notion of one of the Espada raising his weapon against Lord Aizen was unbelievable, positively _unthinkable_…

And yet Lord Aizen would never lie to his trusted followers, especially his beloved Espada.

Only a madman would dare challenge the might of Lord Aizen, but Linn's nickname had been 'The Mad Hound' for a reason.

Yes, over the course of Lord Aizen's speech, it had become more and more apparent that he spoke only the truth; Linndal had always been overly vocal about Aizen, very outspoken and disrespectful during meetings with their Lord and it wasn't _that_ much of a stretch to believe that he had finally snapped and decided to try and kill their great leader.

It was also easy enough to believe that there were other conspirators in the crowd as many of the _numeros_ were also very distrustful of Lord Aizen. It was easy to believe that such traitors would willingly throw their lot in with one of the Espada, perhaps thinking that such strength would be enough to topple Lord Aizen.

Unbelievable as it had been at first, it had all become crystal-clear as Lord Aizen spoke.

And then it took a turn for the unbelievable again as Lord Aizen called on his loyal followers to expunge the remaining traitors themselves, including one more within the ranks of the Espada…

Tyn Tethis, the _sexta_ Espada, the Raptor Prince.

He'd voiced his less-than-flattering opinions on Lord Aizen before, sure, had said he didn't trust the shinigami, but he'd always been more far discreet than Linn; Tyn had never been so foolish as to openly challenge or disrespect Lord Aizen to his face as Linn had. He'd politely asked questions a few times during the meetings, but had only expressed his doubts to a select few of the other Espada in private.

But Lord Aizen had known. Lord Aizen _always_ knew.

Turning against Tyn had been the last thing Halibel had ever wanted to do, but she had been given an order by her Lord and Lord Aizen's orders were absolute.

The other Espada had quickly turned on the _sexta_, but as fast as they had reacted, they were nowhere near as fast as the Raptor Prince himself; in a stunning display of strength, speed, and sheer brutality that showcased exactly why he'd been chosen to be an Espada, he had reacted instantly to the accusation, ducking under and spinning away from a lightning-quick slash from the _quinto_ Espada, Ulquiorra Cifer, who'd been standing closest to Tyn.

Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez had come at him next with a feral lunge, but Tyn deftly sidestepped it and caught Nnoitra Gilga's crescent-moon shaped scythe by the shaft just below the blade as it came down in an overhead arc meant to cleave the redhead in two. He then used his greater strength to use both the weapon _and_ the surprised Nnoitra who was still holding it to take a mighty swing at Grimmjow, sending both the _octava_ and _noveno_ flying across the rough sands and through the wall of one of the barracks that had been constructed for the many _numeros_.

With two of the lesser Espada out of the way, Tyn released his grip on Nnoitra's weapon and let it fall as he went into a sprint, a mad dash for the gate that would take him out of the great dome that covered the entire palace and into the open desert. If he made it out of the dome and was allowed to reach his maximum speed, there would be no catching him; Tyn's greatest strength was his overwhelming speed and no one, not even the dreadfully-powerful _Vasto_ _Lordes_ like Halibel, could keep pace with him.

While many of the _numeros_ were busy fighting among themselves, purging the dissenters from their own ranks, several others saw Tyn and the opportunity for advancement; if they could subdue or kill a traitorous member of the Espada, then surely Lord Aizen would reward them greatly…

Their greed had cost them their lives.

Halibel was already in motion at this point, hot on Tyn's heels alongside Ulquiorra and Starrk, and she saw him cut down several of the foolish _numeros_ with a single graceful draw of _Garras Rapaces_, his zanpaktou. Nothing short of another Espada could _hope_ to challenge Tyn and survive, which is why Halibel had been so horrified when her own fracción, her three best friends, had dared stand between Tyn and his escape…

She shut the door to her quarters before turning around and leaning back against it heavily, trying to push the images out of her head as she closed her eyes and sighed.

No, 'bad day' really _didn't_ begin to describe everything…

"Master Halibel, are you okay?" asked a quiet voice, prompting the blonde to open her sea-green eyes and lock them onto the source of the voice, the delicate, long-haired Sung-Sun.

"I'm…" the blonde began, hesitating for a moment as she looked for an appropriate response before opting to settle on a lie, "I'm _fine_, Sung-Sun."

"Did you catch him?" asked Apacci, her mismatched blue and amber eyes reflecting her eagerness to hear of her master's success.

"No," answered Halibel flatly, silently thankful for her failure.

"He can't run forever," Apacci declared boldly. "We'll catch him and then-"

"Shut up, Apacci," said the dark-skinned Mila Rose. "As usual, you're misreading the situation."

"What's to misread?" she sneered at her taller companion. "He's a traitor and-"

"Are you injured?" asked Halibel, interrupting her servant's rant.

"Only our pride," murmured the tall Amazonian, looking away in shame.

"He's going to _regret_ not killing us," continued Apacci, making a tight fist to emphasize her point. "We'll help you hunt him down, Master Halibel, and when we find him-"

"Apacci, _shut up,_" hissed Mila Rose threateningly. "Are you blind or just stupid?"

"What the hell do you mean, you bimbo?" snarled Apacci confrontationally.

"She means 'shut up,' in case it wasn't obvious," chimed Sung-Sun. "Can't you see how upset Master Halibel is?"

"Of _course_ I can," said Apacci matter-of-factly. "I'm _trying_ to reassure-"

"Leave me," said the Espada in question abruptly, silencing her three servants. "I wish to be alone."

"Yes, Master Halibel, of course," said Sung-Sun, bowing respectfully and heading for the door as Halibel stepped aside to let them leave.

"I guess I'm going to have to explain the obvious to you since you're too damn thick-skulled to see it yourself," growled Mila Rose, practically dragging Apacci along behind her as she exited.

Halibel sighed again as she shut the door behind them, locking it as her keen ears listened to the sounds of the trio bickering all the way down the hall. They meant well, they really did, but now simply wasn't the time for their antics.

She stepped away from the door and into the sitting room, looking out through the massive glass doors leading to the balcony. The bright, cheery blue sky which she had always loved so much, even if it was fake, didn't match her mood at the moment and had suddenly become an eyesore. Growling in irritation, she snatched the curtains and drew them shut, blocking the happy colors from her sight and drowning the room in darkness.

It still wasn't dark enough to suit her tastes at the moment.

She marched from the sitting room to her bedroom, practically slamming the bedroom door shut behind her as she drank in the soothing darkness. Unlike the sitting room, her bedroom faced away from the great dome and the balcony in here gave her a stunning view of the endless desert and the eternal night of Hueco Mundo.

Perfect.

She slowly walked over to the glass doors of the balcony and gazed out at the desert, wondering where her prince was now…

She blushed as she realized that she had thought of him as _her_ prince.

Tyn had become her friend during his time in the palace, a good friend, a _trusted_ friend, but he was nothing more than that.

She wasn't entirely sure that it would have stayed so platonic for much longer, though…

Not that she'd ever know _now_, unless she could somehow find him before the execution squad, the _Exequias,_ did.

"I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you…" Lord Aizen had told her with a comforting tone upon her return to the palace. "You have my deepest sympathies; I know how close you two were, what he meant to you. Your loyalty and dedication, Halibel, is beyond reproach and it is unfortunate that Tyn could not follow your impeccable example."

"He's confused…" she'd defended the former Espada without thinking. "He has his doubts about the cause, yes, but I assure you, Lord Aizen, Tyn is _not_ a traitor. If we can catch him alive rather than executing him, I _know_ he can be salvaged. He'll listen to me and if you could just take a moment to speak with him and address his fears, we can make him see reason. He'll be a valuable ally in our struggle against the shinigami."

"Indeed…" Aizen agreed, nodding his head. "I chose him for a reason, just as I did Linndal, though I would rather not have to deal with Tyn in the same regrettable fashion. If you believe he can be saved, I will trust your judgment on this; I will issue the order that he be brought in alive. Unhurt, if at all possible."

"Lord Aizen, thank you!" Halibel had exclaimed, bowing deeply to her generous commander. "You won't regret it, my Lord, I _swear_ to you!"

"With all the recent changes, it has become necessary to redo the rankings within the Espada; due to Neliel's unfortunate disappearance a few days ago, you will become the new _tercera _and while Tyn would have been the new _quinto_, I'm afraid his position within the Espada is now forfeit," the former shinigami continued thoughtfully. "If he returns, he would be relegated to the _Privaron_ Espada ranks or, if you prefer, I can release him into your custody as a _fracción_ to do with as you please."

"My Lord…" Halibel said, blushing as she tried not focus on the very suggestive way he'd said '_as you please_.'

"Yes, I think that might be for the best; I think _everyone_ will be happier that way, wouldn't you agree, my dear Halibel?" he asked with a charismatic smile that assuaged all her doubts.

"Yes, Lord Aizen," Halibel had readily agreed, thanking him again for his mercy before he dismissed her, generously telling her to take the rest of the day off to gather her thoughts.

She trusted Lord Aizen completely, knew he'd never lie to her, but…

She also knew that Tyn wouldn't just _surrender_ to anyone save maybe her.

He'd fight anyone else, tooth and claw if need be, and in such a fight he could still end up dead, despite Aizen's promise.

The mental image of Tyn lying twisted and broken at the feet of the _Exequias_ or a would-be Espada brought a fierce ache to her chest and a seething rage in the back of her skull. No, that couldn't happen, _wouldn't_ happen; she wouldn't _allow_ it. She'd find him somehow, someway, and talk sense into him.

She'd never realized just _how_ important Tyn had become to her until today, and that annoyed her to no end; she didn't like uncertainties, she didn't care to leave questions unanswered, and the subject of exactly _what_ her feelings towards him were had suddenly become a very important question in dire need of an answer.

Whatever it was she felt for him was mutual, that much she knew; any doubt of that had been erased earlier in the day when Sung-Sun, Mila Rose, and Apacci had dared to try and stop him. He could have killed all three of them in less time than it takes to blink, just as he had done so many other _numeros_, but he'd looked back and made eye contact with Halibel for the briefest of moments before turning back to the three women in front of him and simply _shoving_ them out of the way, sending them falling backwards onto their rears.

He'd spared them, just for her.

The next group of _numeros_ to get in his way, blocking the gate, hadn't been as fortunate.

At least the Gran Rey Cero he'd used made their deaths relatively quick and painless.

The massive hole where the front gate _used_ to be would be fixed within a week thanks to round-the-clock work from some of the remaining _numeros_; hell, the charred edges had already been covered up with a fresh coat of paint by the time Halibel had returned from the futile chase into the desert.

Outside the window, countless stars twinkled in the obsidian forever of the sky and despite their vast numbers, they all seemed so very lonely at that moment.

_Just like me…_ she thought ruefully

Tyn had to be feeling even more isolated at the moment. Worse, he had to be feeling betrayed, betrayed by the person he'd trusted most.

That realization hurt Tia, but she forced the feeling aside; after all, she had nothing personal against Tyn and had only been following orders. Surely he had to realize that as well, wherever he was.

Well, regardless of if he realized it or not, she'd explain it to him when she found him, would make him understand.

_If I find him_…

She growled in irritation at the voice of doubt in the back of her skull; she knew, somewhere deep down, that she _would_ see him again, sooner or later. It was just a matter of time, nothing more.

The seriousness of the long day's events had been weighing heavily on her shoulders for hours now and as she watched the stars twinkle, fatigue finally began to settle in as a yawn escaped her oh-so-weary body. Lord Aizen had graciously given her the remainder of the day off and, all things considered, spending the rest of it curled up in bed sounded like a _wonderful _idea, sleeping the misery away. With any luck, she'd wake up feeling refreshed and the memories of today's horrors would be all but forgotten.

Yes, going to bed was the perfect idea.

She turned away from the glass doors and stripped off everything save her underwear, pulling the covers back on her gloriously-soft queen-sized bed and slipping inside. She was quite positive that, come the morrow, she'd feel renewed, more like herself again and would be ready to resume her duties as a proud member of the Espada.

* * *

She didn't know how long she'd been asleep, but an exhausted Halibel lay on her back staring at the ceiling and cursing the fates for not granting her the peaceful rest she so desperately needed; while she had sought refuge from the day's events by going to bed, her dreams had been plagued by vivid memories of all that had happened, over and over and over.

Worse still was the occasional image of Tyn, impaled and put on display as a warning for all others, just as they had done with Linndal's body.

Tia lay there in the dark, contemplating her options: she could get up and resume her duties now or she could roll over and try again or, as a last resort, she could go seek help from Szayel, the resident mad scientist-slash-doctor. The last option was certainly her least favorite as her opinion of Szayel was that he was a sick, twisted individual, and generally unpleasant to be around, but he was also undeniably brilliant and could probably give her something to help her achieve a black, dreamless slumber that was blissfully free of bloody imagery.

_Decisions, decisions…_

A fourth option began circling about in her head as she pondered the pros and cons of each of the previous three choices, the option of going out and looking for Tyn herself as a personal quest.

That seemed like a good idea.

She could take her fracción with her; four pairs of eyes scouring the desert would increase the chances of finding him considerably.

_**TapTapTap**_

She scowled at the sound; just because she had been _thinking_ about summoning them didn't mean she was ready to just yet and they were already knocking at her door? Couldn't they just leave her alone until she called for them?

_**TapTapTap**_

She frowned as the sound happened again, realizing that it wasn't coming from her bedroom door but rather the balcony. She sat up and turned towards the noise, surprised to see Tyn standing there, gently rapping his knuckles against the glass doors.

_**TapTapTap**_

She threw the covers back and jumped out of bed, rushing to the large glass doors and unlatching them, letting the exiled Espada into her room.

"You came back…" she began, relieved to see him. "I knew you'd come to your senses-"

"I'm not staying," he said abruptly, cutting her off. "I trust Aizen less than ever now and so should you. Christ, I can't believe he murdered Linn and then had the audacity to _lie_ about it."

"If you're not here to beg Lord Aizen's forgiveness, then why have you returned?" she pressed, annoyed that he was still clinging to his paranoid distrust.

"I came back for _you,_" he stated calmly, locking his amber eyes onto her green orbs.

"Me?" she echoed, stunned. "What do you mean you came back for me?"

"I mean I want you to come with me," he said, stepping closer to her and reaching up to brush his fingers against a few stray strands of her blonde hair in an almost-affectionate manner. "Away, into the desert where Aizen can never find us. Just us, Tia."

"I can't leave my fracción…"

"Then bring them with you," said Tyn as if it were a trivial detail. "As long as you're with me, I don't care about anything else."

"I…I…I don't know what to say…" Halibel began, her cheeks turning a shade of red not too far removed from his hair. "I can't just _abandon_ the Espada and Lord Aizen; I believe in the cause too much to just turn away from it all, but…"

"But what?" prompted Tyn. "I _need_ you, Tia; don't make me stay out there all alone."

"You don't _have_ to be alone!" Tia exclaimed, grabbing the open collar of his white jacket. "You can stay _here_ in the palace! You can stay with me!"

"Aizen wants me dead," countered the taller arrancar, gently brushing her tanned hand away.

"Lord Aizen is willing to be merciful if you apologize and retract all your past comments! Your spot in the Espada is gone, but he said you could stay here…as my fracción," she said, earning a humorless laugh from the redhead.

"Stay here as your servant?" he chuckled. "Seriously?"

"You know damn well I wouldn't treat you like some mere slave," she asserted. "You're different. You're special. I…"

"You what?" asked Tyn, peering down at her.

"I don't want to lose you," she said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. "Every man I've ever met since coming to Hueco Mundo has been a sexist pig who's either tried to kill me or make me their property, except for you and Lord Aizen. I serve Lord Aizen, I trust him, but I don't… He's not like _you_."

"Then come with me!" Tyn urged, grabbing her by the shoulders. "Tia, _please_! Don't stay here with that snake!"

"You _can't_ possibly ask me to choose you over Lord Aizen."

"_He_ did," Tyn said coldly, releasing his grip. "He ordered the Espada to purge the dissenters and all of you chose _him_ over me."

"We were just following orders! Damn it, Tyn, quit being so stubborn!"

"You're the one that's being stubborn," he sighed, shaking his head sadly as he stepped away from her. "I thought we had something. I thought you would understand…"

"We _do_ have something! I don't know _what_ exactly, but I want to find out and I _can't_ if you don't get your head out of your ass and _stay here!_"

"I can't stay for a leader I don't trust and a cause I think to be a lie. I'm sorry, Tia, but I just _can't_; I shouldn't have come back."

"Don't stay for him, then; stay for _me,_" she pleaded, grabbing hold of his hand to keep him from disappearing out the window.

"Tia…" he said uncertainly, trailing off as she squeezed his hand.

"Please, Tyn; don't leave me," she asked him softly as she reached up with her free hand and touched his jaw, gently running her fingers over the remains of his mask. Part of her was ashamed to show such weakness; she was Tia Halibel, the third strongest warrior within the elite Espada, and such behavior was unbecoming of someone of her rank and power, but it didn't matter at the moment; nothing else mattered except convincing him to stay.

She gently fingered the two fangs on his mask that jutted up and came to a stop just underneath his lower lip before moving her index finger north just enough to touch his lips softly. She pulled her finger away slowly and reached down to grab his other hand, holding it tight.

There was a long and heavy silence as they just stared at each other.

"It's late…" he said finally. "Most everyone, Aizen included, should be asleep by now. I'll return in a few hours and turn myself in; I'll throw myself at Aizen's mercy and hope you're right. I'll see you tomorrow."

"No…" said Tia, squeezing his hands tighter as he tried to pull away. "Stay here tonight, with me… We'll go see Aizen in the morning, together."

Another long pause filled the air as they both weighed the implications of what she was asking.

"Okay," he said softly, pulling her close. "For you."

* * *

Halibel awoke with a contented sigh, smiling as she did so. Everything was as it should be now; Tyn was back where he belonged, at her side, and she would finally be able to make him understand the glory and the wisdom of Lord Aizen. She turned to look at her companion, her friend, her new lover, ready to wake him so they could go speak with Lord Aizen together, just as she'd promised him…

He was gone.

She sat up straight, confused and angry; surely he didn't just get up and leave, not after everything that was said, not after everything they _did_. He wouldn't just use and abandon her, would he?

But her eyes did not deceive her; the spot beside her was indeed vacant.

As her rage began to boil, it suddenly dawned on her that in fact it was her _mind_ that had tricked her.

Tyn had never come back at all.

There was no trace of his bloody-crimson hair on the pillow, not even the slightest hint of his scent, nothing…

It had been a dream, all of it.

Tia collapsed backward, falling flat onto her back as she shut her eyes and tried to suppress the pain in her chest. It wasn't fair! It had all been so real, so wonderful, so perfect…

_Too_ perfect.

"God damn it," she hissed to herself, angered that she had allowed herself to be so pathetically _weak_ as to fall victim to her own mind.

The 'bad day' just kept getting worse and worse.

With a barely-suppressed snarl of rage, she tossed the covers aside and sat up, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed and arching her back as she stretched. Sleep didn't sound like a good idea, not anymore; she figured that if she were to do anything, she might as well resume her duties and try to make it through the day without reflecting on what had happened yesterday or what her mind had done to her during the night.

The Shark Queen stood up, stretching again as a single yawn escaped her mouth, muffled by the horrific bone-like mask that covered the lower half of her face. She spared a quick glance towards the balcony and the eternal night outside…

…and there on the glass was a handprint that hadn't been there when she had gone to bed.

A lump formed in her throat as she covered the distance to the balcony in a single stride, unlatching the glass doors and yanking them open to get a better view of the handprint on the outside of the glass.

It was noticeably larger than her own, indicating with some certainty that it had belonged to a male. She leaned in close, taking a single sniff to confirm the suspicion brewing in her head…

"Tyn…" she breathed.

The scent was weak, a couple of hours old at least; just as in the dream, he had come back to see her, but the similarities ended there; wherever he was now, he was long gone from here.

But he _had_ come back and that was important: maybe he was having doubts about his choices, maybe he wanted to return to the fold, maybe he wanted to stay with her…

Tia laid her own hand on top of the handprint and smiled softly to herself, content to know that he had at least returned to see her. Her mind was in overdrive now as it reasoned that, if he had returned once, surely he would come back again. She vowed to be ready when he came, awake to greet him, to talk sense into him, to hold him down by _force_ if she had to in order to keep him from leaving her again…

She turned away from the glass and looked out over the balcony at the endless sea of sand, smiling underneath her mask.

"I'll see you tonight," she whispered before disappearing back into her room and shutting the doors behind her.

* * *

Halibel awoke, laying on her back and staring up at the ceiling as another sigh escaped her lips; god damn it, her mind was fucking with her _again_. She turned her head to the right, taking note of her alarm clock and the way it's glowing blue digits announced it was three in the morning.

Then she realized that she'd never even _had_ an alarm clock back in Los Noches.

She was in Karakura Town, in her apartment, and the days of Los Noches and Hueco Mundo were long behind her.

It had all been a dream, a dream of a memory and the memory of a dream.

She remember that day and the corresponding "night" all too well; she had indeed waited up for Tyn to return, but he never showed. She was disappointed, hurt even, but she had quickly rationalized that surely he didn't want to press his luck by sneaking back to the palace two nights in a row. She would be patient and sooner or later, he'd come back.

Except that he _hadn't_.

She'd sat up waiting for him every night for a week straight before sleep deprivation forced her to rest, but even then she had made sure to leave the glass doors unlocked and cracked open just a hair as an unspoken invitation to enter.

The invitation had gone unanswered.

After another week of leaving the door open for him, she took to leaving a note taped to the glass, asking him to _please_ knock, to wake her, to talk with her.

Nothing.

After another week, she just left a notepad and a pen on the balcony for him, hoping he'd at least leave her a note saying something, _anything_.

Still nothing.

Week after week passed, but nothing changed and Tyn's scent never reappeared on her balcony.

After a couple of months, bitterness had begun to set in as the sting of his abandonment became worse and worse. Concern turned to loathing and by the end of the third month, she couldn't even think of him without growling in anger and tightening her fists.

After another month she had finally, truly, accepted that he was a good-for-nothing traitor that had lied to them all. He had never really cared about his "pack," least of all her; he was, in the end, just another piece of trash that would be swept away underneath the merciless heels of the _Exequias_ death squads out hunting for his head.

And then the battle over Fake Karakura had happened…

Even now, thinking back to that day brought a phantom pain to Halibel's chest, burning right across her breast where Aizen's sword had sliced her after so casually dismissing her efforts and the sacrifices made by her fracción and _all _of the arrancar in his grand army. She'd blacked out from the physical and emotional pain, falling down to earth where she _knew_ her existence would come to an end.

And _then_ Tyn had finally returned.

He'd been right all along, she knew that now, and she also recognized that while he had never returned to the palace, he'd always been keeping an eye on her to the best of his abilities as he ran from the _Exequias_. He'd returned right when she needed him most and in doing so, he'd saved her life.

Even though she had positively _hated_ him by that point.

Even after the rescue, she still hated him, had yelled at him, insulted him, _beat_ him even…

Still he had stayed by her side.

Halibel pushed herself up to a sitting position and leaned back against the headboard, feeling like a world-class fool and a bitch of unmatched proportions as the memories swirled about in her head.

She glanced down at the redhead still asleep beside her, relaxing a bit and smiling softly as she simply watched him slowly breathe in and out rhythmically_; _now she had the answers she had longed for back in Hueco Mundo, the answer to what her feelings were. Now he was right where he belonged and she fully intended to make sure that she _never_ lost him again.

He'd always been a light sleeper, she knew that, but his time in exile had made him a paranoid sleeper as well and the slightest noise or movement used to cause him to wake violently, jumping to his feet ready to fight or flee as the situation demanded. He was still a light sleeper, but at least the feral paranoia was gone and he'd even become accustomed to Tia's movements beside him; she could slip in and out of bed to use the restroom or get a drink of water without disturbing him now and for that she was thankful.

She reached down and stroked his face gently, affectionately, using the lightest, feather-like touch of her fingertips that she could muster to keep from waking him, but his eyes snapped open and locked on her the instant she brushed against his skin.

"Sorry…" she apologized softly. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"What are you doing up?" he asked, ignoring the apology. "Something wrong? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I just had a dream, that's all," she assured him.

"Bad dream?" he asked, a tiny note of concern woven into his tone.

"Just a dream of the past; it's nothing."

"If it was nothing, you wouldn't still be awake," he pointed out as he sat up beside her. "So, talk."

"I was dreaming about the day of your exile and the following night…" she admitted reluctantly, noting the slight facial tick he developed at the mention of his exile. Even after all this time, he didn't like to speak of that day and had never elaborated on what his time in the desert had really been like.

"Yes, that was a…bad day," he said finally.

"Did I ever tell you that Aizen promised me he'd spare you if you surrendered? That he'd release you into my custody as a fracción rather than execute you?" she asked him quietly.

"A lie," he said gruffly. "Aizen told you exactly what you _wanted_ to hear so you'd be more willing to help catch me. He'd have happily executed me afterwards and then he'd have persuaded you into believing that it was _necessary_, that he'd had no choice and was so very sorry for your loss…"

"I know that _now,_" Tia admitted, "but back then, it sounded so believable…"

"Bastard had a talent for manipulating people, I'll give him that," grunted the raptor bitterly.

"Why didn't you come back to talk to me?" she asked him. "I saw the handprint on my balcony door and I thought… Tyn, you don't know how long I kept waiting on you to come back again."

"Blame the _Exequias,_" he growled bitterly. "I was debating on whether or not to knock when they found me and chased me back into the desert. I never came back because I was sure they'd be waiting for me. Hell, I thought that if I showed _too_ much of an interest in you, Aizen might authorize them to use you as _bait_ to lure me into a trap."

"I'm just glad they never caught you," Tia said, smiling softly at her mate.

"Who says they didn't?" he asked simply and Halibel felt her blood freeze at the implications.

"Tyn, _why_ haven't you ever said anything before now?"

"If not for my regenerative abilities, you wouldn't be able to count all the scars I earned in the desert," he said, ignoring her question. "I spent my time out there exhausted from sleep deprivation, hunger, running, and fighting… They caught me more times than I care to remember, but they couldn't actually _finish_ the job."

"Why didn't you tell-"

"They came close on several occasions, though," he added quietly, cutting her off. Tia cupped a hand to her mouth, swallowing hard as she imagined the bloody scenes in her head, pictures of the former Espada bleeding from dozens of deep gashes scattered across his body, bone and organs exposed to open air, barely clinging to life as he lay in the desert alone…

_Alone because I betrayed him…_

A long silence filled the room before she found the ability to speak once more.

"If I had it all to do over again, I'd choose you over Aizen," she said finally. "I'd flee to the desert with you, take Sung-Sun, Apacci, and Mila Rose with us."

"And if _I _had it to do all over again, I'd have kept my mouth shut and stayed in the palace with you," Tyn admitted, laying back down and pulling the covers up. "I wouldn't wish my time in the desert on anyone, least of all my mate."

"It would have been different, Tyn; there's strength in numbers."

"I know that, but… I couldn't risk it. I couldn't risk _you_. Would have been better for me to stay quiet and remain with the Espada where I could keep an eye on Aizen and maybe stop him from trying to murder you."

"We could have fled to the Seireitei; asked the shinigami for asylum in exchange for information on Aizen's plans, his troop strength, the strengths and weaknesses of the others…" Tia offered, settling back down beside him.

"Maybe…" he conceded as he slipped an arm around her waist and pulled her body closer to his. "But what's done is done. No point wondering about how it could have been different."

"If you only knew what it was like for me…" Tia murmured. "I'm not letting you leave me again, _ever_."

"If only _you_ knew what it was like for _me,_" Tyn countered softly. "In the end, I was so tired that I _wanted_ to give up and die. I wanted to let the _Exequias_ end me, but thinking of you kept me going. I was determined to see you again, no matter what."

"I'm thankful that you didn't give up," Tia whispered as Tyn kissed her neck softly.

"And I'm thankful for _you,_" he said as she nuzzled her head against his.

Silence filled the room as the two arrancar drifted off to sleep again, a blissful sleep devoid of painful memories and dreams of the past that were best left forgotten.

To say that it was a good night would have been an understatement of colossal proportions; the term 'good night' didn't even _begin_ to describe it.

It was simply…_perfect._

...

..

.

_**Author's Note II:** _Special thanks to Ziggygebs777 for giving a name and a personality to our former-_septima_ Espada who, until this point, was just a faceless nobody. There's more to Linndal's story and you can catch pieces of it in Ziggy's _Mending the Broken_; it focuses on mostly Sui-Feng and an OC, but you'll get to peek in on other characters, too.

A complaint I received early on from a beta reader was that Halibel seemed too weak and "girly" here, but given the circumstances I felt it would...dehumanize her, I suppose, to not show some kind of emotional weakness; I certainly welcome feedback on if this was the right call or not. This piece was completely unplanned, but it gives a bit more insight into her time in Los Noches and the day of Tyn's exile, and we get to see just how close they'd really been in those last days. Thoughts, comments, constructive criticisms would be greatly appreciated.

I once thought of doing an entire prequel story detailing the events in Los Noches, from Tyn's first meeting with Aizen to his exile, and his time in the desert and his reunion with his pack...but I've since decided not to go that route. Instead, I think I'll drop little flashback sequences like this in future stories to paint a more complete picture.

Still working on my next major piece, a sequel to both _Winter War_ and _Espada's Masquerade_. I can't give an estimate on when I'll be ready to start in earnest as there's a lot of work I need to do beforehand; in truth, I worry I might be aiming too high. We'll see soon enough, I suppose.


End file.
